The wind really was boisterous and the waves really were high, but Peter didn’t see them at first. He didn’t consider them at all; he simply recognized his Lord, stepped out in recognition of Him, and “walked on the water.” Then he began to take those things around him into account, and instantly, down he went. Why couldn’t our Lord have enabled him to walk at the bottom of the waves, as well as on top of them? He could have, yet neither could be done without Peter’s continuing recognition of the Lord Jesus.

We step right out with recognition of God in some things, then self-consideration enters our lives and down we go. If you are truly recognizing your Lord, you have no business being concerned about how and where He engineers your circumstances. The things surrounding you are real, but when you look at them you are immediately overwhelmed, and even unable to recognize Jesus. Then comes His rebuke, “. . . why did you doubt?” ( Matthew 14:31 ). Let your actual circumstances be what they may, but keep recognizing Jesus, maintaining complete reliance upon Him.

If you debate for even one second when God has spoken, it is all over for you. Never start to say, “Well, I wonder if He really did speak to me?” Be reckless immediately— totally unrestrained and willing to risk everything— by casting your all upon Him. You do not know when His voice will come to you, but whenever the realization of God comes, even in the faintest way imaginable, be determined to recklessly abandon yourself, surrendering everything to Him. It is only through abandonment of yourself and your circumstances that you will recognize Him. You will only recognize His voice more clearly through recklessness— being willing to risk your all.

from ‘My Utmost for His Highest’ by Oswald Chambers

For those who have not been following my blog or who do not know me, for some time now, I have felt like God was calling me to help out with what He is doing in Romania. Over the past couple of years, that has generally involved helping out with camps and trips from our local church, but this past Summer, I did have the opportunity to spend 2 1/2 months in Timisoara, and definitely know that I will be back on a longer term where I can assist their local church and college ministry. However, upon my departure this past October, I had in my mind that I would be going back in 2 years (or around September 2011). Part of this was because this was when the ministry in Romania would be planting another church in Timisoara geared specifically towards the college students in the city. Another reason was that I felt like that would be how long it would take for me to return home, save up some money, raise support and make it back over there.

Well, then several things began to happen. First, I still have not found a job since returning to the states, so my plan to save some money has not worked out; second, the ministry has decided to move their church plant up to this coming October (a year early); and third, my devotions recently brought me back to the passage above. I know that when reading it through before, I would always look at this as someone and their decision to make Jesus their personal Lord and Savior; however, this time I realized that it relates more to abandoning it all and trusting God to provide for all your needs as you follow the direction in which He leads. So, I began to think more on this and pray about MY plans for returning to Romania, and I saw this as very similar to what was being addressed in this passage – I wanted to go and serve, but I wanted to take care of things first.

In light of this revelation as to what I had been doing, I have decided to take the next step in the process to getting back to Romania and following what I feel God has placed on my heart. It will definitely be a big step of faith and WAY outside my comfort zone, but I trust what God has said: “’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future’” Jeremiah 29:11. So, it is with this in mind that I speed up the process of getting rid of things here in the States that I do not need and push harder towards making my way back to Timisoara for this coming Fall. I know it may be rough and challenging, but I ask that you pray I will be flexible to the leading of the Holy Spirit, and that I would trust Him to continue to meet my needs as I follow Him.

I cannot say that I am looking forward to getting back into the habit of reading and studying, but the end result should be worth it. I am enrolled in a TESOL/TEFL (Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages/Teaching English as a Foreign Language) certification course, which will help me to be able to secure a job in a high school teaching English (or depending on the school – Math or American Studies). I am not sure if this will open doors for me to be back in Romania this coming Fall – though that would be great, but it is something needed if I am to pursue teaching as a job while I am over seas.

As you have probably read some of my posts, you know that this past year was spent trying to trust God in every aspect of my life, and that is where I am at still today. Currently, I still have no job (after 9+ months) and no real prospect on the horizon. I apply but either never hear back from them or they are looking for someone with more or less experience than I have. Either way, I am continuing to trust God that He knows where I am and He is taking care of me & will have the right job for me when He is ready. In the meantime, I continue to trust and wait.

Today, I had a meeting with a couple leaders from our church about my recent trip to Romania and was discussing possible opportunities to go over there more long-term. And, though I have always thought this may be a couple years down the road, I realize that this is a time-frame I have set and it is keeping me from moving forward on a couple things (such as putting my house on the market). I keep telling myself that waiting on this is the best option, but it could be exactly like my waiting to quit my job prior to last year. I need to act and trust God that He has all of this under control and know that I cannot move forward if I am still holding on to something that will definitely hold me back and keep me tied down. So, within the next couple of weeks, I will take care of a couple things I need to do at my house to get it ready to sell and will take the necessary steps to get it listed.

I know that things in the real estate marketplace are still not the most ideal & there are several units in my neighborhood for sale, so I ask that you all please be praying that God would direct the right buyer to my place and that this will sell as easily as my car did this past July!

Other than that, I will be looking for other areas where I can continue to place my trust in God and give Him more of what I continue to try and hold on to, and hopefully, I will continue to follow where I feel Him leading.

This past year, I made a big life-changing decision to quit my job and spend time in Romania serving with the college ministry in Timisoara (OSCET). It was definitely the biggest step of faith I have taken to date, and I could see God’s hand in it from the very beginning. And, even now as I continue to search for a job after returning from my time overseas, I know that God has a plan for my life, and if I continue to follow where I feel Him leading, He will take care of all the little details.

To start the new year off, I was blessed with the opportunity to serve at the 2010 Passion Conference here in Atlanta, GA, and was part of the “Go Center” whose theme was “Do Something Now”. All throughout the conference, these college students were challenged to take action and change their world by getting involved NOW. And, even with their limited income, they were able to do an AMAZING thing during the 4 days of the conference – here is what I mean:
• 12 different organizations were represented in the “Go Center”, and over $650,000 was raised to support these organizations. Another group attending the conference matched what the students raised, so more than $1.3 million was raised during these 4 days.
• Compassion and World Vision were both represented, and more than 150 children were sponsored with monthly financial commitments and prayers.
• More than 10,000 towels and 20,000 socks were donated to help support the homeless here in Atlanta.
This was my first year volunteering with Passion, so I had no idea what to expect, but knew it would entail a lot of standing, so I quickly purchased a pair of gel insoles for my shoes, and had my Epsom salt on the ready for when I got home each night. I helped out with World Vision’s Africa Experience and learned about (and helped others learn about) different communities in Africa who have been affected by AIDS/HIV. I had never sponsored a child through any organization before, but I knew I wanted to do something, so as I prayed and had my devotions during the conference, this verse popped up: “Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is in your power to act.” Proverbs 3:27

So, as I drove in that morning, I knew that was the day I was going to sponsor one of the children with World Vision, but I knew we were going to be extremely busy (as we had been the other days), so I was not sure how or when I would have the time to act, but I knew that God would show me which child He wanted me to sponsor before the day was over. So, I went about my duties of the day just as I had the day before, and as we were nearing the end of the main part of the day and getting ready to close down the experience, a lady came up to me and handed me a packet for a child that she was not going to be able to sponsor. As soon as I saw the packet, I knew this was the little boy that God wanted me to sponsor, because, during my walk through the exhibit, this was the child’s packet that I had prayed over in the chapel a couple days before. So, I completed the sponsorship information as we were closing down for our break – his name is Xavier Jaime from Mozambique; born 6/13/99.

I don’t know if you are a resolution maker or not, but I challenge you to strive to be more Christ-like this year, and to try to apply Proverbs 3:27 to your daily life and see what God has in store for you this year.

Now, go back a little further in time with me to roughly 1190 BC where we have another advancing army, the Midians, similar in size approaching; however, the details behind this story are a little different. First, the leader of this defending army is Gideon – chosen by God, but not the bravest man, and unsure of his calling at first. Second, the army they started with was around 32,000 men, but God said, “You have too many men for me. . .” and their number was whittled down to 300 through a couple different instructions from God. Third, if you read through the passage in Judges 7, you will find that these 300 men went into battle not with swords, but with clay pots, torches, and trumpets. And finally, another difference here, these 300 men survived and won the battle, because God caused the enemy to become frightened to the point where they began killing themselves and fleeing before Gideon and the 300.

I find it a little funny that in both instances, the religion of each of these countries is the reason for their only being 300 men in the battle, and the one with God on their side survived while the others did not and yet the 300 who died are revered with more honor than those who survived and were victorious without even carrying swords.

As with all mission trips I have been on, the time following the return is usually spent reflecting on what God has done as well as what He may also be trying to teach me or prepare me for, and this time was no different. It is hard to put into words every detail that lead up to my deciding to quit my job and move to Romania for a couple months, but what I do know is that I definitely felt that was where God wanted me to be. Even all the little details that got worked out were more than “coincidences” to me, but God showing me His hand in all of this. As I get the opportunity to share with each of you who have been praying for me and supporting me through this journey, I am sure that I will go into much more detail on the day-to-day or personal stories of opportunities that God allowed me to be a part of, but here, I just wanted to give you a “big picture” take-away for me from my recent time in Romania.

As I was thinking about what God is continuing to reveal to me, Romans 12 came to mind, so I decided to stop and read through it. The first couple of verses have been part of my memory since Bible Quiz back in high school, but I felt like I needed to read this all again with a little more focus than I had given it before. The first verse refers to our bodies being offered as “living sacrifices”, which reminded me of a quote I have on Facebook and have used in one of my blogs before: “. . . we’ve already put our trust in Him for salvation, so why not do it as far as our life is concerned?” Ed McCully. Sometimes, it is easy for us to “serve” – we find comfort zones within our strengths and gifts and slide right into something where we can serve (and I am not saying that this is wrong), but is it really a “sacrifice”? My prayer as I look for more opportunities to get involved here in Atlanta is not that I will gravitate towards what is easy, but that I will try and find where there is a need – even if that pulls me further outside of my comfort zone.

The next verse I quoted to start this blog off and it has definitely been weighing on my heart over the past several weeks and months. Looking back at this time last year, I can see how my thinking has changed and I sometimes get some weird looks when I tell people I’ve quit my job (especially during this current crisis) and “traded down” on my car, but to me, it makes perfect sense as these things no longer matter. What is a job except a means of income and an opportunity to show God’s love to those around you, and what is a car, but a means of transportation? Whatever we are about, it should be to glorify God and not in a desire for material possessions or recognition as so many of our peers are looking to do. When all is said and done, it doesn’t matter what car you drive, what house you live in, or how much money you have in the bank, but rather what kind of fruit did you bear and how did you glorify God?

The next several verses talk about gifts and unity in the body of Christ. We cannot all have the same tasks to do, but we can take what God has given us to do and do it to the best of our ability and with a heart that is pleasing to God. Paul then wraps up the chapter talking about love, and over the last couple of weeks in Romania, that was also the topic of conversation during the sermon and at house church as we reviewed the Sermon on the Mount. And, instead of chiming in my two cents worth here, I am just going to post a couple of the quotes Paul used to close out this chapter of Romans: “Love must be sincere.” “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” “Do not be overcome with evil, but overcome evil with good.”

Things started off a little slow, but that was actually a welcome beginning & allowed me to spend more time with some of the students still in town and to get to know Relu, the new leader of OSCET, a little better before the business of planning for the upcoming school year got into full swing. I have also been able to help out some with OSCET’s discipleship team in planning for the start of the school year, and had the opportunity to spend a week in Bulgaria with OSCER’s leaders from the different college cities in Romania. They were also spending time getting ready for the new school year, but were also taking a look at their past strategies to see how things may have changed since implemented soon after the fall of communism. It was definitely a great opportunity for me to get to know, not just the ministry “objectives/goals”, but to also get to know the people behind the cities represented.

Well, I will be coming home soon & will have much more to share when I do, but for now, please keep praying that God would be preparing the leaders of the college ministry over here for what He has in store for the upcoming school year!

I do, however, have a couple odds and ends to finish up around here before I leave, and the biggest of them is getting rid of my car (which I hope will take place sometime this week). Please be praying that I will be able to get what the car is worth and will not have any difficulty in the final sale of the car.

Other than that, please be praying for the Adventure Camp that will be going on next week (7/26 to 8/2). I will not be at that camp, but a lot of the students I know will be there, and the team from here in Atlanta has planned a great camp. I know God has amazing things in store for that camp, and I cannot wait to hear from them about all that He did while they were there.

Well, that is what we have been focusing on as we prepare for the weekend retreat coming up in Romania, and we have been trying to put our thoughts and feelings into words that we can express to the students who attend.  It’s not as easy as it sounds, because everyone has their own way of connecting with God, and even 2 people with very similar “styles” of worship and drawing closer to God can be completely different when it comes down to their own intimacy with God.  A couple years back, Andy Stanley did a series at church called “You’ve Got Style” addressing the different ways people draw closer to God, and as we think more on this subject and how to prepare for our upcoming time in Romania, we have decided to look back into this a little and see some of the areas Andy focused on. 

Back when the series was done, they had an on-line survey everyone could take to see what their style was, and fortunately, this is still on-line, so we have decided to re-take this survey so that we can see what our “style” is, and also see how we can best explain this to our friends in another culture.  If you’re interested in checking this out for yourself, here is the link to the survey: http://common.northpoint.org/sacredpathway.html.  Just so you know, my styles are: 1. Caregiver – draws near to God through caring for and serving others, and 2. Naturalist – draws near to God through nature.

As I said before, intimacy with God is a very personal thing for each of us, and how we relate to God involves a lot of personal factors that could either hinder or help us as we draw closer to Him.  However, some of the areas we have started to focus on as we try and hone in on what we want to discuss are:

·         The dictionary describes intimacy as: “a close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person or group.”

·         God initiated the intimacy with us throughout creation and by sending His son Jesus to die for our sins showing His love for us.

·         Drawing closer to God should be similar to drawing closer to others.  If there is someone you want to get to know better, you do things to get to know them better – you talk to them and you spend time with them, and the more you do, the more intimate your relationship becomes.

We know that just as there are things in each of our lives that affect our thoughts on the subject of “Intimacy with God”, there are also probably culturally some things that may be different with our friends in Romania, so I ask that you all be praying that God will direct our hearts as we prepare for our time of sharing at the retreat.  Also, please pray that Shae & Brad will be able to articulate their thoughts and feelings well with the students at the retreat as they set forth the topic for discussion as well as the rest of the team members as we prepare our hearts for the small group breakouts on this topic as we try and share what God has laid on our hearts.

In closing, I just wanted to share with you a little excerpt from a recent post on Facebook by one of my cousins who was sharing about his prayer time.

“When I got to the point where my mind began to wander, I made a concentrated effort to focus on what God was placing on my heart. When I did, I began to feel that ‘heart connection’ with God.  God was reminding me that He doesn’t speak English.  He is not moved by the depth and eloquence of our words.  God hears the language of our hearts.  It is the Holy Spirit who allows us to feel what the Father feels, and see what the Father sees.”

“When we allow Him (the Holy Spirit) to be our means of communication, our heart is fully expressed.  It’s not a matter of mindlessly letting our vocal chords vibrate, while we put our minds on cruise control (which I am too often guilty of).  It is a matter of letting His thoughts become our thoughts, and allowing the Holy Spirit to communicate our heart to His, and His to ours.”

I pray that this week, you would think about where you are with your own intimacy with God, and how you can continue to draw closer to Him.